Reflecting upon the last few weeks:
Two weeks ago slammed by a record number of covers in 4 shifts – 120 – 6 shifts crammed into 4. Ouch! Although my right arch broke down on the last night – resulting in nausea & dizziness – an episode – the next few days, Monday & Tuesday, were fine – perhaps due to rolling my arches on cold or freezing bottles at the end of the last shift (technique compliments of one of KingÕs friends - God bless sharing.)
But then Tuesday afternoon – blasted by BatmanÕs Dark Knight – an excellent movie although deliberately violent & loud, with myriad explosions, gunfire, & car crashes – followed by dinner at Brophy Bros – a noisy sense assaulting popular restaurant complete w/French Fries cooked in rancid oil, which gave me a stomachache. More significantly this afternoon of sensory overload knocked me off balance.
Teetering on the tight rope of sanity my Person exerts a Herculean effort on Wednesday afternoon to have a CD player installed in his ÔnewÕ car – actually his wifeÕs 20 year old BMW. First frustration at Sears: "Sorry we don't do car stereos anymore." The second the Circuit City salesman: "Your car is too old. We don't have a system that will fit the opening." Ð Overreacting as always my Person: "Great. Just great. A new car with no music."
Then as I'm leaving the stereo installer saves the day: "The sales guy doesn't konw what he's talking about. Of course we can install a CD player. He must be on drugs." <Ahh gratitude. Relief. Success is in sight. I can't wait to hear my improisational music again.> "But we can't put the system in until tomorrow." Ð Mentally: "Aurgh! Not another trip out here." Out loud: "No problem."
Take the dreaded trip out to engage the public. Patiently wait for the installation to be completed. I reassured my Person as best as I could: "You're doing good. I'm proud of you for dealing with this chore. I know how hard it is for you to go out shopping Ð evokes your feelings of inadequacy. But the reward will be worth it." Mouth watering with anticipation. Ears relishing the potentials the future has to bring. Finally finished. Pay the bill. Exchange the normal pleasantries including gratitude. Drive the BMW on to the street. Turn on the new system and insert my latest CD, 10. More Noise.
<Rage Ð Fury!> as my longed for improvisational music – much craved after – blow out the speakers with a Snap, Crackle, Pop, Screech - at normal to high volumes - as did every other CD that followed. "Must be something wrong with the settings. I can't believe they didn't test the system before returning it to me. Must read the instructions. <Aurgh!?> Why me!?"
The initial aggravation followed by an even more frustrating session attempting to read the Manual – which was written in an unknown language – pretending to be English. Then utter anguish from pressing a button that transformed my music player into an implement of distortion & degradation – Aiieee!! Going insane – Fighting the internal turbulence, whose oscillations are revving up. The sweat pours down my face as I attempt to keep it under control – losing focus – Need to take a nap. Wife Laurie: ÒYou should really take it back as soon as possible.Ó As IÕm withering into a quivering mass of Jell-O. Just thinking about the whining of my new CD player ignited my internal anguish – sending me into a paroxysm of despair.
ÒTake a deep breath. ItÕs going to be all right. ItÕs not that serious.Ó
ÒBut I need the CD Player for my trip to Manhattan Beach this weekend for my 40th High School Reunion.Ó
ÒThere are other solutions to this problem.Ó
ÒBut I had everything planned so perfectly. Aiieeee!!! Aurgh!!!Ó <Kill Ð Rage!> Destroy all those who write these undecipherable manuals and all those who created those feature loaded machines – when I just want volume control and the ability to go backwards & forward on the CD. Equalizers – Sound fluctuation – WhereÕs the fucking Balance switch? And how do I turn the damn thing off? How could I have been so stupid to be tricked into getting one of these things? I need an extension course at City College to be able to understand how to play the cursed machine. God, I am a pathetic piece of shit. Why me? The Downfall of Western Civilization. IÕm going to be institutionalized for sure. Oh God, IÕm beginning to swoon - losing consciousness - a deflated balloon.Ó
ÒGet a hold of yourself. YouÕre over-reacting. ItÕs not that bad. WeÕre just talking CD Player, which you havenÕt had for weeks.Ó
ÒBut I made 2 trips with 3 steps.Ó
ÒOh poor baby. Life is so hard.Ó
ÒBut I had everything planned out perfectly. Everything was going so well.Ó
ÒRemember the Kamden Principle: ÔWhen things are going along smoothly anything can and probably will go wrong at any second.ÕÓ
ÒDamn! Curse the Universe and his stupid little games. Aurgh! My feet are hurting again.Ó
ÒYou must let go of your bitterness to heal your feet. When youÕre disturbed emotionally your Body generates acids which aggravate inflammation.Ó
ÒAurgh! CanÕt even wallow in self-pity. Must calm down for the immediate good of my feet.Ó
ÒMeditate. Relax. Focus on the lower Tan Tien. DonÕt let the Chi rise. Avoid stress at all costs.Ó
ÒBut IÕm going to my 40th High School Reunion this weekend.Ó
ÒAny stress you create is all your own.Ó
ÒAurgh! Must chill or else Ouch?Ó
And the roller coaster continues.
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