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So blown away by Miranda’s advice. Must relay it or I’ll forget it.

To set the stage:

Yesterday I discovered what Butter on Table Seven, my first ‘novel’, was all about. It is an impressionistic sketch of my life as a young (28->30 year old) waiter at the Bistro – including my roles as husband, son, brother, friend – ending with Serena’s birth (my first child). A startling revelation – as for 30 years I had thought of it and described it as ‘my first restaurant novel’. Although the Bistro was a significant part of my life at the time, which is reflected in the novel, it is not the whole thing. These psychedelic scribblings create a holistic image of the pre-child, post college – late 20s, early 30s part of my life. Late night rap sessions under the influence of some intoxicant, of course – a young man’s reflection of the world surrounding him – his reaction to the myriad impulses that impacted him – his impressions of the insanity and the beauty.

Anyway in a phone call with Miranda, my youngest daughter: “Art must be 95% dark. Then the Light that shines forth is unassailable. For instance the uncomfortable emotions in my film – the supposed murder and the implied betrayal, set off the physical beauty. But remember beauty is not just a pretty girl or a colorful sunset. That’s why people get confused.”

D: “True. As a writer the manner of expression is of equal importance to what is being said.”

M: “In the tragic attempt to communicate exactly style is generally more effective than content.”

D: “How the story is told is as important as the story itself. A poor story teller can ruin a story.”

M: “Any attempt to shine the light into the darkness is admirable. And the attempt to create an impression of a time period is exquisite even though perfection is, of course, impossible.”

“The Hermit in the Tarot cards expresses this image of shining the Light into the Darkness. This is one of the themes in Butter. But I was confused. I thought that this Light was based in the wisdom of thought rather than the Direct Experience of Reality transmitted through word impressions.”

“The tragic quest of the Artist to transmit a specific and personal experience or time period - and always falling short.”

“And that’s beautiful. In my earlier conception of Butter, even as I was writing it I would slip into the mode of transmitting wisdom – the most boring sections by far. On the contrary the personality sketches of the variety of characters that peopled my landscape are fascinating reading - at least to my 58 year old self.”

“That is what I learned in my last semester at PNCA. In my Art I want to express the personal more than anything else.”

“Well you did a great job of that in your Senior Project. Your moving pictures effectively communicated the beauty of your environment - the passion you have for Kamden – the horror at our political world as expressed by the presumed murder - & the hoped for transformation suggested by the ambiguous rebirth.”

“The murder was just a mental projection - suggested by the bloodied hand. The viewer created the story – as there were no words – just photographs. My favorite form of artistic expression is when the viewer is able to interpret the work in a variety of ways. That’s why I like David Lynch movies so much. He leaves so much to the imagination.”

“Ironically my best writing in Butter evoked an image or impression, Taoist style, of my life at that time – probably inspired by the ‘shrooms. But then Brain reasserted himself and convinced me to transmit verbal wisdom – the tragic attempt to delineate something specific. Very boring.”

“And limited. You have put boundaries on the Reader’s vision.”

“Interesting how my Writer selves were all going in different directions, while Consciousness thought they were going in the same direction.”

“Your desire for complete clarity obscures the mystery. Your futile attempt to eliminate any confusion backfires. Illuminating the Darkness – the impossibility of the exact communication – allows the tiny pinpoints of Light to shine through.”

“The tragic fractal attempt of flat leaves to be 3 dimensional – and yet only achieving 2.7, no matter what.”

“I prefer art to be 2.3, which is admitting the paradox and the mystery – the impossibility of a complete identity. The higher 2s, say 2.8 or 2.9, are frauds in that they pretend to have succeeded when they have fallen flat on their face. “

“Precisely what was wrong with some of my Butter on 7 sketches – the misguided attempt to attain complete clarity – reaching for 2.9 – but seriously flawed, flat and limited, especially compared to the impressionistic suggestions – which actually evoked a rich mood – rather than just more words ranting against injustice, frivolity, corruption and hypocrisy. “

“Embrace the Paradox, the Ambiguity. For therein the Mystery abides.”

“Beauty, not words to evoke?”

“A Balance. Neither one, nor the other.”

“Neither this, nor that.”