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All I can say is Whoa! & Whoa! again.

Just finished the most grueling experience of my life. Although my Breakdown & the subsequent events were difficult emotionally & physically they were not relentlessly grueling. Although I’ve had difficult weeks and more strenuous nights – this was extended over 2 weeks. Not a violent Battle – But a brutal War. Batten down the Hatches & Wait for the Storm to Pass. Pull the Covers over the Head. Hopefully the Sun will rise again – driving the Bogeyman away.

11 shifts in 13 days was certainly difficult enough – especially seeing as how I had only worked 3 shifts per week for about 2 months with no shifts per week for the 2 months prior to that. Just back from visiting my daughters in the Pacific Northwest for M’s graduation I was refreshed and ready to go. Not that the travel itself wasn’t without drama – certainly a bit stressful and exhausting. But overall it was a yin experience – with lots of good food & wine w/pleasant company. Yet more than a few ‘feet’ episodes – with arches & heels aching – accompanied by a disoriented mind. But on the whole I made it through the vacation unscathed – no scars. But certainly far from perfect,

So upon my return I began training at the Ranch. Arrive home on the Tuesday afternoon May 27^th. Begin the first day of my Ordeal Wednesday the 28^th – finishing not quite 2 weeks later on Monday the 9^th of June. It exhausts me to even think about it only 2 days later. I can barely refer to it without evoking the desire to dig a hole and climb in. Obviously I am not fully recovered from the physical & emotional drain – the psychic strain & don’t really expect to begin recuperating until the following week. I must still pass my next ordeal – the excruciating Graduation Weekend. Two nights at the Cask, Friday & Saturday (anticipating that we will be understaffed & overly busy)– followed by 2 shifts at the Ranch - Father’s Day on Sunday (busy again and my first shift in a new restaurant) and then Monday (should be slow, gratefully). Will probably make a pile of loot and then will be able to rest & recuperate at last – hopefully. The Universe seems have it out for me right now – always more tests around the next corner. When, oh when, will this Storm break?

But at least I can fantasize about a light at the end of the tunnel. A time when I’m called off because it’s too slow – working only 3 shifts in a week. How glorious – to recharge my depleted cells from the Ordeal without any relapse or collapse. Still in a dangerous zone – treacherous w/land mines – spiked pits - snipers hidden among the trees – friends bearing bombs – the usual.

So back from a not-so-restful vacation and not-so-ready to tackle the world. But I must, as I’m sitting on a crumbling ledge and must move or face destruction. (More later)