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Much has occurred in the interim. Dined at Fenouil, a fancy gourmet restaurant, to celebrate M & KÕs graduation from PNCA. Spent more $ on a dinner than ever before – ($510) – a bottle of French champagne and a Central Coast Syrah – 2 plates of raw fish (complete with lobster and crab) – combined with a foie gras-truffle terrine – some asparagus soup – a butterleaf salad – Scallops & then Duck – 2 orders of each – enough to feed 6 of us – oh, and I forgot, a combination dessert platter – complete with sparklers – a seven course dinner. And L&I entered the state of At-One-Ment – an awakening to the suchness of things – arriving at the perfect moment – ratifying all those moments that went before – eliciting an insight into the inner-connectedness of the Universe.
Of course it is easy to experience this state of At-One-Ment in the midst of abundance. You might think IÕm referring to consuming vintage wines & gourmet delicacies with loved ones (they contribute; donÕt get me wrong). Or even MirandaÕs graduation (certainly a feather in our caps – an exciting and life-affirming transition) –combined with the senior show – accentuated by MÕs moving pictures – creating a startling mood from a flow of still images (no verbiage whatsoever) – juxtaposing beauty & horror in a 12½ minute experience – the Viewer creating the emotions from context, as no words point the way – only some music that our artist created herself to augment the moment – the electric spark spontaneously erupting from the friction of animate and inanimate – the passionate affirmation, the unassailable light amidst the darkness – as our baby dies and is reborn a butterfly – soaring to universes beyond our imagining.
And KamdenÕs statement of the aesthetics of the creative process, as his project spotlighted the crack between the end product and the origination of the idea – all those difficult moments that are hidden by the sparkle of the finished product. The creative rule of thumb: the easier it looks the better it is. The musician smoothes out the rough spots until they appear effortless. So Kamden tackles the aesthetics of those rough spots – the beauty of the In-between – a glimpse into the inner workings of the Universe – the machinery beneath the smooth gleaming exterior.
And I cried when I realized that a blurb on KÕs wall of transitional moments – ÔAnd he breathed for 3 days after he diedÕ – was MÕs reminisces on the passing of Bur, my father – when he continued breathing after he was dead – presumably passing into the afterlife so smoothly that his blood continued to flow up & down his body – granting the illusion of breathing – when no air escaped his nostrils nor entered his lungs – no pulse either - both daughters & wife ratifying my perception – awesome. And for this emotion that was evoked by this fragment – this transitional state – to be so deep that it elicited tears – how powerful – how personal – how subtle – to sneak between the cracks of my soul – to touch this chord, which resonated so deeply that my Body inadvertently released her precious liquid through my eyes.
All these delicious moments – & yet still more. Meeting KÕs parents after all these 4 years our children have known each other – Sam & Vic – SamÕs the mother. Discover secrets about our children from the Ôinside sourceÕ – realizing that this is why theyÕve kept us apart for their entire coupling – didnÕt want us sharing insider information about their secret lives. And the M/K duo disappears into the crowd to let us alone. We dads and moms appreciated that. And we laughed and enjoyed our proud moment together – that we had shepherded our children thru this difficult transition.
And despite all this there was more – perhaps the grandest – at least the link the joined the bracelet together – for it signaled a completion of our nuclear family. Serena brought her Kurt – 3 couples at last. We laughed through our joining of energy – at the absurdity of life – at the insanity of society- at the pathetic nature of our own frailty disguised by false posturing. So this young man Kurt stabilized and loved our Serena – and that is all that matters.
He also happens to be a screenwriter, which adds another creative force to our mix. But we would have loved him no matter Ôwhat the heckÕ. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that (by the Zero Correlation Principle, which states a special non-linear correlation between 2 Beings, who are intimately fused with the same other) I would have an immediate rapport w/anyone who fell in love with my beautiful Serena & she him – no doubt – incontrovertible. Joined at the psychic hip for too long. (An equivalence to the inevitability of communing joyfully with KÕs parents.}
Anyway w/all this bounty it is easy to snuggle into the soft arms of the Universe and call life good – to say that every moment – no matter how excruciatingly painful and/or extraordinarily difficult (have had my share of those recently) – is also blessed – because it was somehow in the collection of moments that led to this perfect sector of time.
And so although an easy affirmation, now that we have passed so many ordeals – hopefully the entire 81 that bring completion – instead knowing deep down there are quite a few left – monsters attempting to devour us for our purity – Beings disguised as temporal (or spiritual) masters to deceive us – our selves confusing our Self – so many more tests, trials, and tribulations designed to temper our steel.
And when we reach this next ordeal – when we are unsure of our guarantee of success – when we begin doubting our choices – when our sense of inadequacy pollutes our contentment – contaminating anything weÕve learned from the present state of illumination - will we still be able to bless the moment and call life good? WonÕt we instead curse life and her inevitable travails? The difficulties of the River crossing – the impatience with the Ripening – worrying about Frost, Winds and Rats – that we will never bear edible fruit – that our Art will instead just fall to the ground –turned into mulch – consumed by the Fire. No guarantees of success for those who set out on the Quest.
But hopefully then, at least, we will bless the moment we perish – despite so many unrealized dreams – the lack of recognition – adventures denied – uncompleted projects – the multitude of brilliant ideas left unsaid, equations unrealized, paintings only visualized – so much still to be done. Will we continue to bless every moment as perfection – because of their connection to this magnificent moment weÕre in right now? Amen. Hallelujah. Nema forever.
Bless the magic of this transitional grace. May it live forever in these nearly incomprehensible sequence of words – transmitted through these barely legible scribblings – transcribed into seemingly random electronic blips – encoded somehow in the ozone somewhere. The end.