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5-20-08 AM Server’s the Problem?!

After figuring out that I ‘must’, i.e. it’s mandatory, have ‘.doc’ on the end of my files to upload them to Lulu, (not it can’t upload my files because they have ‘.doc’ on the end), things went fairly smoothly – for a few hours – at least.

Next came PDF problems: Saved my file as a PDF to have total control of the output - as Lulu suggests. This was followed by a series of enraging messages.

“Can’t proceed. Your file is not in the 6x9 format. Reload your program in the proper format and try again.”

“What!? I already saved it in 6X9 format. It took me an hour to figure out how to do it. After discovering the location in Word I clicked on the button to change my file, which it did. Now this. This stupid program is driving me crazy.”

“Take a deep breath. It’s going to be all right.”

I spend the next few hours ‘wasting my valuable time’ checking and rechecking my files, attempting to load by going through the necessary aggravating steps and continuing to get the same infuriating messages.

More <Rage!!> “Fuckin’ Program! What’s the matter with the world that it would create such a messed up piece of junk with which to torture me.”

Obviously I was lost in the midst of a deep Person fever – deliriously attached to ‘don’s fate’ as if it were my own.

“But wait. Others have used this program successfully. Call tech support. Ask for assistance.”

“Over my dead body. I’m self-sufficient, a pioneer of the Midwest like my great-great grandfather. Let me waste some more of my limited time and energy torturing myself on this futile endeavor before I acquiesce to my fate.” <Grumble. Grumble.>

Finally contact Tech Support.

“Need to use Adobe Reader. Microsoft Word can’t create a 6x9 PDF file - even if it can create a 6x9 .doc.”

Evidently Word had changed my margins to contain my text in the 6”x 9” format, but it still existed on a 8 1/2” x 11” piece of paper.

After spending another frustrating hour or so trying to download a ‘free’ program I realize that the one I need will cost me an extra few hundred dollars. Not willing to cough up the bucks: “Oh well. I guess I’ll let Lulu create my PDF file and then check their work. <Sigh!> OK. Let’s upload Ma Belle II and see how Lulu does. Now that I understand the process it should only take a few minutes.”

Hours later I’m seething with fury – barely able to contain my runaway emotions, as I have been unable to upload my file – despite employing all the techniques that had worked before. Not only that, but I couldn’t even upload Ma Belle I, which had already been successfully uploaded the day before. It was as if my entire Lulu site had been corrupted in some way.

To further complicate issues the free on–line tech support person didn’t seem to understand the problem – except for the cryptic answer – “Maybe your server’s the problem."

“My server?! But it worked fine just yesterday. Why not today?”

“I’m not sure. But sometimes that’s the problem.”

<Rage> <Fury> Not understanding how to solve the problem generates a feeling of inadequacy which initiates a rant. “I hate computers. I hate my creations. I’m going to quit the world and join a monastery. Life is too painful. I can’t cope anymore.”

Muse: “No choice. Must move forward. There must be a solution. Others have used the site successfully.”

“Obviously a flawed site. The Universe hates me. Else why would he be torturing me so.”

At the back of my mind Bernard counsel emerged uncalled for: “Beware of empty heat. It depletes your yin – drying you out – turning your inner landscape into a desert.’

“Aurghh! I’m killing myself & I can’t do anything about it. I’m a victim of myself.”

Muse: “Must move forward. It’s the only way to get our works published. As a matter of fact this is our project for the next few months, until you return to work.”

“But I can’t even upload the fuckin’ file. How can I possibly move forward?”

“Patience. A path will reveal itself. It always does.”

“Time to take a break. Get out of my mind. It’s torturing me. Must take a walk on the beach. Listen to the sounds of the waves – smell the salty air – feel the gentle breezes on the skin. Anything to stop these torturous thoughts. The wild fire is raging out of control & needs to be doused.”