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12-13-07 The Essence of Music

Had a great organ lesson on Tuesday. Finally resolved what music is and isn’t (at least to my satisfaction).

After listening to me perform Nelson made the comment, “You’re pressing too hard – Float. You’re going to fast – Slow Down. And you’re neglecting some notes – Pay attention. Of course these are related. I don’t want to hear the notes; I want to hear you, which is the point of music.”

Bingo! I finally understood why my improvisations are music – because I can hear myself. The lower grade improvs, which were rejected or deleted, didn’t reach that magical level. Either they were to programmatic – not tapping the primal spontaneity, or they weren’t focused- reflecting my internal Oblivion. The improvs that made the cut were somehow able to tap into my heart-felt emotion. And in so doing they attainted the spontaneous because that is emotion. Just open up the Heart, let it flow through the fingers, and Music will occur. Easy to say; hard to do.

This is why my recording of Bach’s A minor Fugue was so good (at least for me). Despite its technical imperfection it expressed my feeling for and understanding of the piece. I didn’t slip into Oblivion due to excessive repetition. Nor was I distracted by the notes – in a futile attempt to play them perfectly. I just merged with the Music and was totally there.

The two enemies of Music (or Life for that matter) are Distraction and Oblivion. Initially the notes distract us because we’re learning them – attempting to master the technical execution. Although this is a necessary stage – at least until a stable body memory is attained, it’s essential not to get stuck in technique. Once body memory is established there is a tendency for habituation to set in – Oblivion. The fine line between these two poles is complete awareness, which leads to merger with the Music. The cursed Balance.

The way to avoid the trap of Oblivion is to constantly improve – attuning Awareness to more subtle aspects of the composition, which inevitably includes the emotional content of the piece. This last is the merger of the composer’s auditory vision with the performer’s psyche. As Nelson implied, internal quietude is necessary to achieve this harmonious state. The Tai Chi between Yin and Yang.