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Here I am – once again writing on my balcony overlooking the town. And although my external circumstances have been stable – health, finances, relations, etc. - although many would be envious of my position – home ownership in SB, dynamic wife, who takes care of my every need, two beautiful, intelligent, and productive daughters, good friends, tai Chi instructor, etc, etcetera. Although I have all these things, I am on an emotional roller coaster from week-to-week – who am I kidding? day-to-day, moment-to-moment – which shows no sign of abating.

Presently I am at peace – probably due to the fact that I have finished my 4 shifts and have some uninterrupted days in store. For what? The same as always – day in day out it’s always the same – Tai Chi, Organ, Writing, Dinner. While others watch TV, go on trips, have fun, I pursue my daily routine obsessively- even to the extent of getting irritated if it is interrupted.

And why? The subtleties of the organ constantly fascinate me– while fun bores me. My art, however it manifests, is impelling – driving me crazy – my obligation to my many creations – which I am constantly refining, perfecting, sculpting, pruning, editing – so that it is not too bulky to survive the Great Fire - so that it might float above the Morass to achieve Immortality – another facet of my insanity - evoking the question of my supposed sanity. My Person is on this bizarre quest for nothing, writing words that no one reads, playing music which no one hears, painting pictures which no one sees – a real Nowhere Man.

And yet I can’t help myself. It is the only activity I find rewarding. Casual entertainment depresses me - being with the Crowd leaves me feeling even more empty and unfulfilled. So back to the work of Just Being Me – complete w/ my myriad neuroses.