So here I am - back in the DayÕs Inn in Seattle listening to #1 on my latest CD - ÔBarely HereÕ. And IÕm in ecstasy – again.
To dispel any misconceptions of permanence IÕve been thruÕ a kaleidoscope of emotions in the meantime - ranging from despair to exultation. Regularly lost in Clear-lighted laughter – then so weak that I feel as if IÕm going to die – listening to the cosmic noise behind the traffic as we wait for a table to open at a crowded restaurant – overwhelmed by the verdant fragrances of the Old Growth Forest along Salmon Creek – discouraged due to painful ankles and knees resulting from an old injury that I thought was in the past – blood sugar highs and lows aggravating and accentuating mood swings as we live from pastry to cappuccino to wine along lifeÕs way.
But now IÕm back in a divine ecstasy as IÕm in the presence – listening to ÔCoughingÓ and having an out of the body experience – looking out of a Coke Bottle upside down – (perhaps due to a combination of Grape and Herb) – Realizing for the millionth time that it doesnÕt matter what happens in the future – with my writings, creations and stuff. All that matters is the joy of the moment – Eagles screeching and coyotes howling before the Glory of Just Right Now. The meaning of my puny life is overshadowed by a greenish-red, yellowish-purple, bluish-orange light shining from afar – illuminating the magic of an infinity of pine trees – a reflection of GodsÕ patterned face.
So am I willing to share this Person of mine in public view – for all to see – Naked Before the World. I have an insect-small website audience who are gleaning my writings – wondering perhaps what I am going to do next. To reveal my creations is easy, for I'm lost inside - difficult to find. But to reveal myself – Shed my cloths – My innermost feeling on Public View.
And I am afraid – DonÕt want to be exposed. But what the Hell! Who am I trying to protect anyway? My Person – Who is he anyway? What phantasm is this that I am so afraid to expose as the phony he is. However I still must be hanging onto this very familiar Person because IÕm still shy and resistant to this uploading of my personal thoughts onto the Outside.
Naked and exposed. And why? To draw attention to my writings? Because IÕm an exhibitionist? Seeking fame and fortune? Who knows? And how do I decide what to do? Meditation. Empty the Mind and see what comes up – Only this and Nothing else. GodÕs voice speaks from the Void – directing alignment with divinity.
And so this is the end. Back Again.